smoke

A World Where Everything Has Depth And Meaning

cigarettes_and_alcohol_800x200

It never leaves you –
that entire life of choices
and missed chances.
They lurch around
in the back of your mind,
somewhere between
embarrassment
and all the projects
you left unfinished.

At first you barely notice,
you just retreat
to fantasy worlds
where everything has depth
and meaning.
Though eventually
the familiar patterns
turn to tedium.

Surging back to reality,
denial hits first,
then justification,
and lastly resentment,
as predictably as the tide.
So you make them a part of you
because it’s all you know,
and it softens the unfamiliar.

The days skim by
and time erodes a channel,
dousing the passion,
until you’re left
inhaling smoke
and drowning in cheap wine.
Anything to help dull the senses,
as you try to ignore the weight
forever growing in the
back of your mind.


© 2016, Gavin Zanker.
Photo by SBC9 licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-ShareAlike 2.0 Generic.

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